Days 16-17. Caving isn’t always failure.

Warning: This is a long post.

Tuesday (Day 16):

  • Before my work trip to Richmond went to 730 OTF class with Jessica which kicked my ass (we had a two group class and had to run a mile, row a mile, then finish with sprints followed by 25 of intense arm exercises), showered, ate my egg cups and got ready for the 8 hour bus ride full of temptation ahead of me.img_9564
  • Arriving at work, we were greeted with panera breakfast (which I didn’t eat) and a “goody bag” complete with a variety of non whole 30 snacks (see photo). I didnt bother grabbing a bag, knowing it would tempt me, and packed my own bag of snacks with RX bars, apples, almond butter, and nuts. An hour on the bus and I was feeling pretty nervous for the days ahead.
  • Lunch:img_9568
    • Fatz cafe for lunch. I browsed the menu ahead of time and planned to order the grilled salmon with steamed broccoli. It ended up being pretty delicious, but I envied those freely eating the warm bread from the bread basket with butter.
  • 8 hours and 3 stops later we finally arrived to the Omni Hotel. After unloading the bus, we walk into the hotel and were greeted by staff with glasses of red and white wine. This will sound pathetic, but after 8 hours on the bus and feeling a little hangry, I desperately wanted to crack and have a glass. I started to tear up (no joke) as my friends grabbed a glass, went to their rooms to drop off their stuff, and went out to find dinner and go to bars.img_9571
  • Knowing I’d probably give into the temptation of drinking, I decided to order room service and got a house salad with grilled chicken and sauteed brussel sprouts (requested that they were all cooked in olive oil, etc). Feeling like an outcast, I said no to going out with my friends and sat in my room, watched this is us, then went to bed.

Wednesday (Day 17):

  • Woke up, hangover free (my friends stayed out pretty late), and took my snacks and bag over to the Altria theater where we had a day of Company activities
  • Breakfast: Unfortunately, fruit was the only thing I could eat at our breakfast buffet, so I had two small fruit cups and two packets of nuts.img_9579
  • Lunch: I was super hungry and only able to eat an apple, some roast beef (which was probably not compliant but I did what I could) and salad, no dressing.
  • I was getting pretty hangry and definitely wasn’t satisfied at all and starting to get really annoyed at the fact I was on day 17 of Whole 30.

The Slippery Slope Downhill:

  • Our  3 pm meeting was located at the Jefferson Hotel where we were provided with sodas and freshly baked warm soft cookies. Watching everyone eat these cookies when I felt so hungry and was beginning to get agitated was torture. I had an RX bar as they ate their cookies to try and not feel left out but I was getting pretty tired of these bars at this point and was pretty grumpy. My manager said “fran just have a damn cookie!” but I resisted and didn’t.
  • Our meeting lasted only an hour and rather than take a shuttle back to hotel, we decided to walk. Why?
    1. 60 degrees and sunny
    2. sounds like a perfect excuse to bar-crawl home

As we started walking, I felt the tears come back to my eyes (I know, pathetic, but it REALLY sucks when you can’t do what you enjoy doing with your closest friends). This is when the begging began. As we walked my manager tells me she will buy me whatever I want at the bar and “for the love of god and the team please have a drink you have looked so miserable the last two days!”. She got everyone else to chime in and say “seriously fran have some fun!” I said “trust me, I’m DYING to drink with you all, I don’t even care about the food, I would love to have a drink, but I can’t.”   The requests for me to drink continued and I impatiently waited for my other coworker who was doing “sober january” to give me some support. That quickly changed when he got to the bar, ordered a shot, then ordered tequila on the rocks with lime. Shit. This is the end of me.

Not wanting to feel like a recluse and go back to my room and hide the rest of the night, I tried to stick it out with my friends as long as I could and not drink. I kid you not when I say my manger has never begged me to do anything to the degree in which she was begging me to have a beer last night. Between her begging, everyone else chiming in, and remembering how miserable I was the night before I caved. Here is why:

  • I have seen an INSANE amount of turnover in my year and a half of working for this company. Although I do see a few of my coworkers outside of work for drinks, I had never had a full night out with my entire team and manager (who is a super fun person) where I don’t need to worry about getting home and everything is free.
  • Life’s short and I have other times I can do whole 30. This was a really rare occasion / bonding situation, and I was tired of feeling like I was blowing off people so that I could complete a whole 30.
  • Guilt: I felt guilty not drinking with my friends and I knew I’d feel guilty breaking Whole 30. It was a lose lose situation. I texted three people looking for justification in my decision to drink but only one person’s response made me feel a lot better (my co worker who has completed an entire whole 30 in the past)
    • Coworker: “ I approve. Fran, it’s more important you network and have fun here. Drink, eat, then get back to whole 30 starting tomorrow. You’re 100% making the right decision. I promise you’re fine. Have fun. Get wasted. You’ll find once you go back on, you’ll recover to where you left off in about two days”
  • Did I really want to look back on my trip to Richmond and remember that I was hungry the whole time, didn’t drink, and had to lock myself in my room in order to avoid doing so? No. I did it for a night and was in a pissy mood the entire next day.
  • I knew I would rather have the fun memories that I did end up making that night with my co workers. Sure, I’d probably feel great about completing an entire whole 30, but I feel a lot better knowing I took advantage of an opportunity where I could hang out with some of my closest friends, all together, with absolutely no worries or other commitments. It sounds like it could happen all the time, but really, it doesn’t.

I will point out that although I drank alcohol, I got lucky that our dinner stations were a raw oyster bar, shrimp cocktail, and carved meat stations (roast beef, chicken, ham, etc). Most of these were Whole 30 approved so I still stuck to the diet for the most part (I know, alcohol already ruins it but hey, I didn’t go crazy).

The Day After:

I socialized with my friends for about 5 hours but still managed to go to sleep around 1030. I had a fair share of drinks, but woke up at 5 am, feeling pretty good, so decided to the gym.

  • I ran 2 miles, did 10 minutes on the stair master, then worked out my triceps, biceps, and some back with weights and a TRX band and went back on the Whole 30 train. I had a great breakfast of organic cage free eggs, bacon, and lox.

Did I wake up feeling with regret? I did. I felt like a failure to everyone following my blog and I hope I didn’t disappoint you all. For about two hours I felt like I committed a moral crime, but after re-thinking why I did it, laughing back on memories made last night, I felt a lot better. Honestly it was a tough decision, but I love hanging out with my co workers, and times like these are hard to find, esp when you consider how many people have been quitting each month. I completed 16 3/4 days of Whole 30, plan to do 15 more until we are in Kentucky for a wedding, and am finding content in that.

Advice to you:

  • Do the best you can, if you slip up, just think about why you did and keep going. Don’t let one mess up get the best of you. You can always reset and refocus, and learn from your mistakes.

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